M's first collage

Life and its import

Dear Baby,

Life is full of ups and downs. Don’t let that bog you down. Remember baby, life will never go along the way you have planned it. Life will never go the way ANYbody has planned it. Life is an unruly spring of water; it cuts through rocks, erodes terrain, turns jagged sharp stones into smooth round ones, and makes its own pathway to reach the ocean. Thus is life. Do not despair if life doesn’t go the course you want it to, occasionally you might want to build a dam, channel the water using a canal, but life has its own course, all that you do, is only but a minor deflection in its pathway. It cannot be tamed.
However, that, does not mean you cannot live life. For a small being that doesn’t even proper eyesight and bowel control, what would life mean? What would it be its import? I would say, live the way you live now. Harbour no expectations, harbour no “right” or “wrong”, but go by what your conscience says, what allows you to sleep at night. See new things, be open to perceiving new ideas, cultivate a set of core values and live and suffer for them, take a day as a day, work hard, but yes, party harder. Lead by example, and be led by example. Be happy and be content – never be satisfied though, like Steve Jobs (who is he? – well, dear baby, I will leave it up to you to search him up) said – stay hungry, stay foolish.

Above all, dear baby, you are an individual, currently you are dependent on me, but you always will not be. Live your life, as an individual. Learn to know who you are.

smiles!

its a colicky day and night, she refuses to sleep, asks for milk constantly, and me being me, am extremely sleepy. Mom offers to take care of her, but she refuses to be held by mom, she insists on clinging on to me. being sleepless for almost 2 days, im irritated, im angry and im sleepy, her wails dont make it any easier! Having a long history of avoiding children like the devil incarnate, i have no clue how to handle a colicky baby, one thats just over a weeks old, and weights less than 3 kg! Heck my lappie weighs more than that!

Thats when it happens .... somewhere in an insane hour of the night, i lose it, and shout at the little one like im screaming at someone with road rage ... she forgets to cry, looks up at me, and there you go - a wide toothless grin. her first smile of her life and im not sure what to do, smile back? cry in exhaustion? act relieved cos she's stopped crying? oh well, I just did what i had to, squeeze her close and kiss her hard and coo her to sleep.

And, so we speak (or) Gulzaman's Son

This is school time poetry I had read as part of the Syllabii, in all probability, dear baby, you wont read this poem, because the way CBSE is going with its stupid ideas, nothing really will be left of it by the time you get to the age at which I read it.

Anyways I want you to read the poem to understand why I name this chronicle Gulzaman's son. I hope you are able to appreciate the love in the poem and the bond of parenthood.

So, dear baby, this is my conversation with you. I dont know if I will be able to earn as much to give you a comfortable life, I dont know if I will live up to your expectations or if I will be a good parent to you, will be able to keep you from all the prejudices and biases that are existent in our world, will be able to always look at you with nothing but love, but one thing, I am sure - I shall leave you with my thoughts. So you will know, if ever your mother could not be all that you wanted her to be, you will atleast know, why she wasnt the ideal parent.

You might question the utility of it being a blog ... it makes it less private doesnt it? Oh well, your mom is a lazy bum - she has long let go of diaries. :)